Sandra Boynton Never Met TJ

READ to your baby!

This has become practically a rule in this day and age. You must READ to your children so that they will see and hear lots of words, learn to understand language, see lots of pictures, and learn to appreciate books. It's accepted guidelines endorsed by every baby development book, pediatricians, super Moms, and even your child-free friends.

But, I am here on my blog willing to state the truth about reading to babies: Most babies do not want to be read to! I know, I know. It's blasphemy, of course babies want to be read to and if your baby is not wanting to hear story after story every night then something is wrong with you or your baby!

I was always baffled as to why reading to my baby never came naturally. I like to read, and bought tons of the most highly rated baby books on Amazon and got the full Dr. Suess collection. When my baby was young, he would settle into my lap and decide he wanted to nurse instead. Later, he would see a book and have only one thing on his mind, tasting it! If I would refuse to relinquish the book and insisted on continuing to read, it made him cry. So, why was I doing this again? What was the point?

The reason why most babies do not want to be read to is because they see a book that is brightly colored, with moving parts, and rip-able pages. It is a toy. You are essentially asking your child to hold still and watch while you play with one of the most interesting toys in the house. The chewable edges, flapping pages, and smooth surface that makes it the perfect push toy for creepers. The thinness makes it fit so perfectly in all the best hiding places: under beds, couches, closed doors and even between furniture and walls. I am here to warn you that this advice is setting you up for failure, because most mothers and babies will fail at this activity as it is envisioned by the smart baby authorities. I am here to outline a new rule for books and infants.

1) Pull out a book to read every day. Open it show your baby the picture and try your best to read the first page. Point to the words as you are reading them if at all possible. If your baby has other ideas about what he wants to do with the book, let him.
3) If at all possible, memorize the book and just recite the book as your baby is playing with it.
2) Choose books that have no narrative plot. If your baby opens to a particular page, just read that page. Don't get anything invested in having the "story" stay in sequence.
4) Play peek-a-boo with the book instead.

Do not give up reading because your baby seems disinterested. The advice to read to your baby is good advice but no one ever outlines the stumbling blocks that will eventually be presented as you introduce this activity to you child. Eventually many young toddlers become practically obsessed with books and want the same book to be read to them repeatedly. Until that time, do not believe that there is anything wrong with you or your baby, and don't let anyone make you feel that you are failing at your job as a mother because your baby is not getting his daily dose. The advice is good, but incomplete without taking into account the temperaments and behaviors of our babies.

Yesterday, TJ picked up his nursery rhyme book, and brought it over to me as though he wanted me to read it. I opened it to the first page, and read the rhyme as a song. As I got ready to start the next page, he took the book back and put it on the seat of the high chair. That was our reading for the day.